OP-ED: It's Completely Unfair When Professors Cover Content in the First Class

You know what's more unfair than English House having only three washing machines?

Professors covering actual content during the very first class.

Expecting a gentle start to the new semester, I strolled happily into Stat 430 last Wednesday. After five minutes of introduction, most students had directed their attention to phones and laptops. Everything was just it should be on the first school day of 2018. Then, the unthinkable occurred: our professor suddenly began discussing probability theory. His lecture was drowned out by the deafening noise of 74 alarmed students rooting around in their backpacks.

"Syllabus week" is a dream held by generations of sad, yearning college students. We are entitled to that one blissful week of classes without content, school without work, education without learning. And yet, professors seem to take joy in making our God-given right a mere myth. In one course, the professor cold-called me within the first thirty minutes. In another, I received a homework assignment before classes even began. 

Professors don't want to be back either, and this is probably their way of punishing us. This must be why I've already received assignments in four classes, of which one was due this past weekend. Did none of my professors realize I didn't even have any notebooks during the first week of school? Can they not see that we need a week to wean ourselves off 24/7 time-wasting?

I'm disgusted and appalled whenever I see actual equations appear in first math class of the semester. If it's in the course description, it can wait until the third class. Just tell me what the curve is, okay?