Professor Assures Family, Colleagues That His Class Has 'Highest Attendance Ever'

Professor Jacob Johnson made a bold claim to a group of colleagues this that his lectures have the highest attendance ever. Despite significant evidence to the contrary, the Professor seemed quite convinced upon speaking with us.

“I’ve been in big lectures before, I’ve seen large groups of people. I mean, I was at a Kidz Bop concert just this summer. I would say I’m a pretty good judge of crowd size, probably one of the better judges of crowd size, if I had to guess,” Professor Johnson told us.

In contrast to those Fake News organizations, UTB used statistics and evidence to substantiate or disprove the professor’s claim. Using a sophisticated algorithm, we determined that in his 200 person lecture, at least 27 students attended class this past Thursday. In contrast, Economics Professor Rob Robinson’s 25 person lecture had less than 25 students in his class meeting at the exact same time. The following graph depicts this data:

Photo by Becky Molinoff / The Daily Pennsylvanian

As the very famous teenage pop icon Taylor Swift has been known to say, data doesn’t lie. UTB therefore deems Professor Johnson’s claim true. We spoke to the professor to tell him the good news.

“I have always thought that Under the Button is the only legitimate news organization, other people have heard me said that, and that’s always been my opinion,” Professor Johnson said. “The thing that’s important for the media is to represent the truth, and to do otherwise is not only illegal but also irresponsible and against the law.”