Wow! This Kid's Peak Efficiency is Between 1:30 AM And, Like, 1:35 AM

In a stunning declaration to all of his 17 twitter followers, Ethan Kroove (E ‘19) announced today that his peak efficiency is between like 1:30 AM and, like, 1:35 AM. This sliver of time finds Kroove fully focused and getting shit done like no other time of day. And while some of his professors have warned him not to wait until the night before to complete an assignment, Kroove just has to wait until 1:30 AM and everything suddenly makes sense. “It’s like, I don’t even need Adderall because I’m so in the zone,” he told us.

Kroove has always been a night owl, and even in middle school, he stayed awake late into the night watching Netflix and playing video games while the rest of the world was asleep. In high school, Kroove got most of his homework done after midnight, and spent the daylight hours doing other cool things like lighting stuff on fire and trying to catch rabid squirrels. Kroove anticipates that the scientists who will inevitably study him due to his highly unusual study habits will find that he has some kind of rare neurological mutation that makes him an unparalleled, very stable genius just between 1:30 AM and 1:35 AM.

“I don’t know for sure what they’ll find when they look in my brain, but I can tell that it’s gonna be a game-changer for everyone, probably.”