Achievement in Real Estate: This Frat's Basement Isn't Moldy

West Philadelphia is home to a plethora of glorious real estate. Victorian townhouses, gothic apartment buildings, you name it. But there is a hidden gem nearby that many would argue is the most noteworthy achievement in real estate: the basement of Pi Theta Beta.

PTB's basement stands out for a number of reasons. It has hardwood floors, divine leather couches, and an odor that doesn't reek of aged vomit. And, above all, the basement isn't moldy! PTB has hosted upwards of 1,000 mixers, pledge events, and after-parties in their beloved home. And yet, somehow, some way, they've managed to keep the mold out and keep the clean in. Miraculous!

We asked a brother of Pi Theta Beta to tell us the secret to their basement's success. "I mean. It's really not that complicated. Every time we have an event down here, I come downstairs and spend between 2 and eight minutes cleaning up. It seems to have solved the problem," Johnny Emory (C '19) told us. What a hero! Maybe the brothers of PTB could give Penn fraternities a little lesson in housekeeping 101.