​Pottruck To Offer Strip Tease Classes for Entirety of Big-Little Week

Let’s face it. Freshman boys do not yet have the charm nor the skill to execute a decent strip tease. That’s why, to spice up big-little week, Pottruck will be offering classes to show these pledges how to shed that awkwardness and hopefully make an impression on the ladies.

The gym will be hosting three classes throughout the day, Monday through Friday:

9:00 a.m. – Learn how to put on a sensual show at 50 Shades of Katz Fitness Center. The first half of the class consists of pledges pairing off and reading passages from the 50 Shades novel to each other in their most sultry voices. The second half will teach the boys to put on a show without really showing anything at all—similar to all the actual movies.

12:00 p.m. – Get wet and wild with Splash Zone! Pledges will learn how to use edible food and drink items in their routines. During the class, pledges will practice this technique by pouring Energy Zone juice drinks all over themselves to Nelly Furtado’s Promiscuous.

6:00 p.m. – At the “Small Willy? No Problem!” class, these freshmen will be taught how to pack their boxer briefs realistically and securely. Note: pledges must bring their own their own socks.