Students Brace Themselves for Biggest GPA Point Drop in History Amidst Threat of Rising Grade Deflation

This has been a turbulent week for students at the University of Pennsylvania, where professors are under pressure to combat the grade inflation that has been rising steadily since the ‘90s. Some professors have been quick to criticize the new policy, arguing that the old grading metrics need to be corrected for the social media and technology addictions that have brought down academic standards in schools and universities across the nation.

The decision to bring down grade inflation rates has been met with unilateral outrage from student groups. Patrick Lalley (C ’18), a graduating senior just five credits shy of his English degree, argues that this policy is too far-reaching to be sprung on students with so little preamble. 

“Many of us didn’t even realize our grades were being inflated,” Lalley reflected sadly. Lalley had intended to dedicate this semester to his thesis on the intersection of young adult sci-fi/fantasy novels and erotica, but he fears that this project may fall to the wayside as it becomes increasingly evident that students must start attending classes in this cruel, dark world where a ‘C’ is average.

An online petition titled “Do You Mean Us Too?” is currently being circulated by Engineering students.