Women Can Do It All! 8 Hours Ago Alex Threw up in Her Hamper; Now She’s at Starbucks

We are living in 2018, people! In this new feminist age, women are KILLING IT.

Women now make up the majority of college graduates, women have been fierce political advocates—highlighted by the Women’s March on Washington in 2016—and Beyoncé is a woman. All around a great showing!

If you are here to underestimate a woman, today is NOT your day.

Women can do it all! Especially Alex (C ’21), who threw up in her hamper just eight hours ago and is now at Starbucks ordering a freaking Grande iced Americano with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup.

You heard that right! Alex is ALREADY at Starbucks. Sure, she’s still a little shaken up, and sure, she could have slept better if she hadn’t had so much jug wine before her mixer, but she still made it to Starbucks this morning.

See, haters? Women can do anything they set their mind to, except open a bank account in some countries, but you can't win everything!