Professor Gets Wrong Idea From Student After Being Taken to Lunch, Ends up Heartbroken

Under the Button recently received leaked screenshots of an email correspondence between one well-intentioned, but ultimately misleading, student and one hopelessly romantic professor. The emails, in all their heartbreaking glory, are reprinted below.

3/2/2018, 6:24 PM

Dear Professor Bottelman,

Thanks for coming to lunch with me today. It was my first time doing Take Your Professor to Lunch, and I really enjoyed our conversation.

--Adolfo Costa

3/2/2018, 6:26 PM

Dear Adolfo,

I had a wonderful time at lunch today. Since the death of my third husband, it’s been hard to put myself back in the “game,” but I felt really comfortable during our lunch today. Although you’re the age of my youngest son, you seemed as mature as someone only half my age.

I would love to see you again soon. Call me at (555) 215-8909 and we can schedule another time to meet. I’m thinking dinner, then Netflix and chill?

Hope to talk to you soon,

Professor Katrina Bottleman (but you can call me Katrina now ;)

3/3/2018, 9:12 AM

Hi Professor Bottelman,

I’m happy you enjoyed lunch, but I think you might have gotten the wrong idea. I took you to lunch as part of a program, so I could get free food and brown-nose you. There were no romantic feelings involved.

Best,

Adolfo

3/3/2018, 9:12 AM

Dear Adolfo,

What you have said to me will haunt me forever, and I shall never love again. I trusted you, and you tossed me aside like a sterile mare.

I do not deserve this! I bring nothing but intellectual growth and seven-page-paper assignments to the world, and all I get in return is a broken heart. Why, god, why?

I hope you’re happy with yourself, Adolfo. May every second of the rest of your life be a personal hell.

See you in class Monday!

Cheers,

Katrina