Study Shows 99% of Students Who Hate Making Small Talk on Locust Love Making Small Talk About How Much They Hate It

It’s the same thing every day. Students with headphones in, eyes fixed on the ground or glued to phones, hustling to get to their destination before they run into a polite acquaintance (or, like, are late to a meeting or something). The Penn student body is wildly diverse, but everybody can agree on one thing: making small talk on Locust sucks.

“I go to bed stressed every night and wake up exhausted every morning, and I know what the culprit is,” said Mandy Greenberg (C ’19). “I really hate running into people from my freshman hall on Locust.”

However, Greenberg knows she’s not alone. She claims that she’s talked about it at, like, five BYOs she’s been to, and everyone agrees that it’s the worst. In fact, a recent study has shown that over 99% of students hate making small talk on Locust, but love making small talk about how much they hate it. Conversations about how much people hate running into acquaintances on Locust are the third most common topic of conversation, with comparisons of exam schedules or hours of sleep last night coming in first and second, respectively. The fourth most common topic of conversation is how "it doesn't suck to see you though, but just in general, you know? Let's get coffee sometime!"