Penn Basketball Asked Who They Know at NCAA Tournament

WICHITA, KS — Approaching stadium security at Intrust Bank Arena, the Penn Quaker Men’s Basketball Team was taken aback last night when they were asked who exactly they knew at the exclusive tournament.

"We strolled up all ready to have a good time and play some basketball, and these guys at security stopped us and asked who we knew," said one player. "Obviously we don't usually go out like this so we don't know a ton of people."

Told that the game was "at capacity," Penn players wracked their brains for someone who was in the tournament that they could name to get inside.

“Jake remembered this kid from high school so we said ‘Jeremy,’ but they just shook their heads and told us to text him,” said a sophomore guard. “We didn’t have his number.”

"If we don't get in I guess we'll just go home and play Harvard again," he added. "But they're such geeks. I was excited to play these Kansas guys."

At press time, the team was taking a lap around the stadium looking for other basketball games to play.