L'Chaim! Commons Served Nothing but Cool Ranch Matzah for Eight Days to Commemorate Moses' Munchies

1920 Commons dining hall served only Cool Ranch-flavored matzah for the eight days of Passover as a way to celebrate the Jewish holiday, and to provide dietary options for those observing it.

Passover, one of the most important holidays in Judaism, is based on the story of Moses, a guy who led the Jews out of Egypt, and was also a fiend for junk food once he got a little reefer in him.

Jewish Studies Professor Alexander Botwinik said he was impressed by Penn Dining’s commitment to historical accuracy. “Moses’s insane munchies usually get glossed over in modern retellings of the Passover story,” he said, “when in reality, the Torah talks about that man downing family-sized bags of manna chips on the daily. His favorite flavor was Cool Ranch, and it’s fantastic to see Commons paying homage to that.”

College freshman Zev Berkowitz was pleased by Commons’ choice to serve nothing but powder-dusted matzah for over a week. “Sometimes, as an observant Jew, it’s hard to find food I can eat here,” he said. “I worried about Passover. But Commons served Cool Ranch matzah every day, and I was happy to eat that nutritious and pious snack while sharing my culture with the Penn community."

Fortunately for students who missed the festivities last week, Penn Dining is reportedly considering adding a Flaming Hot Nacho flavor to the lineup next year.