Endearingly Overeager Freshman Adds on Three Minors as If They Actually Fucking Matter

Martin Friedman (C '21) is just adorable. He's so passionate and enthusiastic about his studies and appreciates the value of learning. A PPE major, Friedman decided that studying three fields—politics, philosophy and economics—wasn't enough to satisfy his academic cravings. So he decided to tack on three minors to his program of study.

Too bad Friedman doesn't know that, well, these minors don't fucking matter. Poor guy. He thinks minoring in American Public Policy will give him a better chance at running for office. Or that a Comparative Literature minor might "make a hiring manager think, 'he's really intellectual!'" Friedman was also invigorated by the option of pursuing a Digital Humanities minor, which, in actuality, is a real minor at Penn that nobody would ever give a shit about.

If only he knew that in exactly three years, he'd be graduating with a single major and no minors anymore. Can someone say yikes?