​Fraternity Filthy Rushes Class of 2022

Fraternity rush is competitive. There is only a finite number of perfectly preppy boys to go around. That’s why this year some brothers have been going to Quaker Days, where they are on the lookout for any future students that have that to-be swagger.

However, there are way more future Quakers than there are brothers, and too many people for the frats to adequately get to. As a result, fraternity brothers have gotten creative in their methods of advertising their organizations to potential rushes.

Laurence Cooper (C '19) of fraternity Alpha Alpha Alpha (also known as AAA's) has infiltrated the ranks of the tour guides in order to directly promote AAA's. He treats most the job as a regular tour guide would—stopping at Van Pelt, explaining the toast throwing on Franklin Field, and giving students a sneak peak of what the outside of their quad dorms will look like —but when the group passes his chapter house, Cooper goes into a long speech about AAA's reputation as the social hub on campus. Other fraternities have since followed suit and have been handing out anything from custom lighters to lettered Sperrys.

Other brothers have also been reported to be flipping through the Class of 2022’s name tags before the day actually starts. Sources say that the brothers write down names of all boys that are from Scarsdale, Greenwich, or the Main Line.