Girl Typing Furiously at Front of Lecture Isn't Actually Taking Notes, Just Messaging 8 Group Chats at Once

Seated in the front row of all of her econ and poli sci classes, PPE senior Janae Lewis always has a Macbook and Venti Starbucks iced black coffee at hand. She types furiously in a caffeine—and sometimes Adderall—fueled daze. She nods at everything the professor says, somehow taking notes even when there’s nothing to take notes on.

Lewis’s aggressive typing strikes fear in even the most accomplished pre-law PPE nerds. But while her laptop’s privacy screen filter normally prevents students from seeing what she’s doing, one student was brave enough to sit right behind her in an attempt to copy some of her legendary notes.

The student, who wished to remain anonymous out of fear for their safety, reportedly saw that Lewis was not taking notes. Rather, “she had eight different iMessage windows open[...] none of her messages were related to academics. She was messaging her friends about an upcoming formal instead of actually taking notes. There were two group chats with the same exact people, yet they were talking in two separate chats at the same time for some reason. I don’t get it.”

Lewis's classmates all expressed surprise when they discovered the news. As one student succinctly reported, "I'm shook." 

Classmates are still convinced, however, that Lewis's grades, LSAT score, and resume are so incredible that she has already been guaranteed admission to any law school of her choosing before even applying. Whether this is true remains in question, but students are already working on hacking into her Penn InTouch.