Didn't Get Tapped for a Senior Society? Here's How to be Better, You Fucking Loser

Didn't get tapped for a senior society? Don't worry, we've got you. Here's how you can snag that tap in no time flat. 

Step 1: You'll want to befriend the right seniors at the right time. Be sure to start being especially friendly to them as early as months before you want to be tapped for a senior society.

Step 2: Wow! we're already at the final step. That was fast. In order to be cool enough to get into a senior society, the most important thing to remember is that you'll want to be president of a fraternity. This will be a difficult task for most people, especially those not in frats and women. It's okay! If you work hard enough, you can do anything at Penn and your leadership will be recognized. After all, Penn is a meritocracy.