Pre-med Student Banking on No One Staying Home and Studying During Fling in for a Shock

Marie Lu (C ‘20) isn’t your typical pre-med student. While most of her fellows would be content to give themselves a break after thirteen consecutive weeks of brutally focused studying, Lu isn’t one for complacency.

“Thirteen weeks out of a fifteen week semester?” she scoffed to our reporter “13/15 isn’t even a B+ in most of my classes.”

While her classmates were out partying during last year’s Spring Fling, Lu kept her nose to the grindstone and absolutely crushed her competition.

“I sort of figured that would happen again,” muttered a visibly anxious Lu, “So I decided to relax a little, let my grades slip a bit since I knew I’d be able to make up for it come Fling.”

But then she started to notice that tickets just weren’t selling like they did last year. Even her most social friends were expressing their doubts about the concert lineup.

“It was horrible,” she sighed, “everyone partying their brains out was my last hope for this semester.”