Sophomore Just Sort of Expecting Life to Get Worse

Sophomore Allison Green (C '20) realized today that she is simply expecting life to get worse. That is, despite good grades, a relatively close group of friends, and a full slate of extracurriculars, Allison is simply expecting her life at Penn to worsen in quality until graduation.

"I really couldn't tell you why," Green said when asked for explanation. "But I just am sort of expecting my life to decline in quality over the next few years."

Green says that, like most people, she was once optimistic about the future. However, she has since accepted that her life will simply become worse with time.

"No one older seems particularly happy, you know, and my life isn't necessarily trending up. I think I've just accepted the truth."

"But, hey, at least I'll get to see Center City once a week for my therapy sessions!"