Student Working on Essay in Class Wishes She Could Turn Down Volume On Lecture

Jessica Casey (C '19) has been officially recognized as the most focused student ever to sit in an ASTR 001: Survey of the Universe lecture. The title was previously held by a student employed at Weingarten as a note-taker, but Casey is not motivated by financial gain.

No, she has an essay due at noon, and she really needs the professor to shut up for a bit so she can focus.

As Casey reaches down for her phone to adjust the volume, she is confronted with the horrible reality that she has no control over the volume of the real world. This is not a unique discovery. A recent survey administered by Under the Button shows that over 30% of students wish that lectures could be a little quieter so that they can focus on their other assignments. Of this number, 15% report failed attempts to rewind lectures 30 seconds to catch the stuff they weren’t paying attention to.

Assignments done during other classes’ lectures have been shown to score approximately 20% lower than those done in libraries or coffee shops, and 100% of this disparity is attributed to the professor talking too damn loud. Measures to make professors drop their voice to whisper when they see a student focusing on something else have proved fruitless. Until a new policy is enacted, there are steps that students can take to avoid this serious threat to their GPA. Weingarten advisors suggest that students search through Penn Course Review for key phrases such as “grabs attention” and “brings the subject to life,” and avoid registering for these classes at all costs.