Four Ways to Make a String-And-Can Telephone to Cheat on Finals

1. Use a string from the string store and a can from the can store.

Go to the string store, and ask them for a string that smells like string. Then repeat that process, but with cans at the can store. If you have a hard time asking for these materials, go to the question store to pick up a few questions first. For the internet-savvy, www.buystring.com and www.buycans.com are great alternatives.

2. Attach string scavenged from your uncle Tony’s gazebo to a papier-mâché goat’s horn your daughter made at her third birthday party.

Self-explanatory; works like a charm.

3. Connect two walkie-talkie cans with a Twizzler.

You’ll simply be talking with someone over a walkie-talkie, but the Twizzler gives the whole setup a cool, vintage string-and-can phone aesthetic. It's 21st century cheating but with that 19th century feeling.

4. Construct a chain of ants between the professor’s brain and your hand.

The ants will read the professor’s brain signals, which include the test’s answers, and pass that information down the line until it reaches a very large ant that moves your hand to write out the correct answers. A third of the time, however, the ants will make you copy down the contents of your professor’s refrigerator, so make sure to check your work as you go.