Decision to Not Grab Napkins With Food Proving to Be Big Mistake

With hot sauce dripping down his hands and onto his lap, Engineering sophomore William Morris is beginning to realize that his decision to forgo napkins with his food truck burrito was a big mistake.

“It was an arrogant choice,” Morris reflects, his shirt and pants covered in food stains. “This is a disaster,” he says as his burrito crumbles out of its foil wrapping.

After attempting to use a nearby paper bag to wipe his hands, Morris fast-walks to the nearest bathroom, crouching slightly to hide the red and brown streaks across his clothing.

“Wow, what a disgusting person,” everyone who sees him thinks. “Has he heard of napkins? Does he think he’s better than napkins?”

Eventually, Morris emerges from the bathroom with a fistful of paper towels, hands clean, pants stained—only to realize that he forgot to buy a drink with his order and would need to lap water from the sink again, like an idiot.