Penn Researchers Discover 89% of Boys Don’t Know How to Smile in Photos

This Wednesday, a interdisciplinary research team from the Penn Fine Arts Department and the School of Dental Medicine published the results of a groundbreaking study. Approximately 89.43% of individuals who identify as male don’t really know how to smile in photos.

The team analyzed over eighteen thousand photographs, all taken between formals and graduation weekend.

Lead researchers Dr. Angela Parikh and photographer David Cline shared the results of the study.

“There was a 100% correlation between boys who were wearing sunglasses indoors and boys who failed to show any expression at all in the photographs,” explained Parikh. “We’re not sure if it’s a sign of sociopathy, but we’re currently consulting the Psychology Department.”

“Furthermore, if the photo was taken during finals week, there was a 20% chance the boy was frowning. There was 35% chance that he was crying,” added Cline.

“If the boy was standing with a date, he was four times more likely to attempt, but fail, to smile,” he added.

“One might call it a ‘grimace,’ but we haven’t developed a scientific term for it yet,” said Parikh. “The chances of this happening went up by a factor of seven when accompanied by a hover-hand [scientific term].”

When the photos came out, over 100% of the dates reportedly had to tell their friends some variation of “he’s cute in person, he just takes bad photos!”

Despite all of these revolutionary findings, the research team conceded one exception when it came to the data.

“Groups of boys really seem to enjoy taking photos as they’re piling onto oversized couches.”