Watch Out: 28-Year-Old Senior Has Just Been on the Same CIS Waitlist for 7 Years

Albert Song (E '19) is just one credit away from graduating. He was also one credit away from graduating last year, the year before, and even back in 2011. No, he hasn't taken a gap decade. And no, he hasn't even left Penn. He has spent the past seven years of his life emailing professors, counting down until advance registration, and failing to get into CIS 518: Neural Deep Data Machine Intelligence—the only class that he needs to graduate.

"I submit a new waitlist request at the beginning of every semester, but it never ends up working out for some reason. I'm a CIS major, I'm a senior, and honestly at this point I'm almost a senior citizen, so I definitely meet all of the criteria for a permit. I guess my luck just hasn't worked out."

When asked why he is refusing to provide Song with a permit, the CIS 518 professor responded, "We have very limited seating available in our 400-person lecture hall. Even though 3/4 of the class tends to not show up, I need this emptiness in order to allow my voice to echo more nicely. Even an extra student would prevent this necessary echoing effect from taking place!"

Although Song hasn't been able to graduate, he's been making good use of his free time whilst at Penn. His roommates report, "This guy has literally completed all of the CIS 518 homework every semester for the past 7 years. He could TA the course—hell, he could probably teach it at this point."

Though Song appears to be highly skilled, knowledgeable, and worthy of graduation, the missing checkmark on his Penn InTouch Academic Checklist and the empty diploma frame gathering dust in his bedroom would certainly disagree.