Friend With Equally Shitty ID Blames Other Friend for Not Getting Into Smokes

It was Thursday night and Lisa (C '21) and her friends were standing in line outside Smokey Joe’s, memorizing the addresses on their ID’s. “This better work,” she said, knowing full well that it probably would not work. “We don’t have any other moves tonight.” 

Lisa stood in the back of the group and waited her turn, silently hoping and praying that her fake would not be the one to be rejected. “My four friends were in line in front of me—one of them had to be rejected first.” And sure enough, Natalie’s Illinois fake was bent and cracked long before Lisa could even learn her zip code. 

“I can’t believe she didn’t get in,” Lisa said, as the moonlight gleamed on her equally cracked ID and smudged picture. “Like, we were looking forward to this night so much and now we have to go back to my place and watch The Office reruns.”  

Though Lisa was only 19 herself, she knew that the bouncers would have “totally let her in” if it wasn’t for Natalie and her cheap ID. “I mean, there’s no way I can get into Copa with their harsh scanners and everything. And you know, sometimes I don’t get into Blarney’s when it’s crowded. But Smokes? I can always count on Smokes.” 

“You should’ve just let me go first,” Lisa told Natalie while standing in line outside Cavanaugh’s and letting her friend Amy go to the front.