BREAKING: Jeb Bush Walks Down Locust, Literally No One Cares

On Wednesday, University President Amy Gutmann and Provost Wendell Pritchett named former Florida Governor Jeb Bush a non-resident Presidential Professor of Practice for the 2018-2019 academic year. Though few are sure what this actually means for Penn, even fewer care about Jeb Bush at all.  

In fact, on Wednesday, it was reported that he walked down Locust. There is security footage from Huntsman of the former U.S. Presidential candidate walking straight down the center of campus. In the tapes, he appears to go up to several students and ask, “Do you know who I am?” before saying, “I was a good governor,” and “I am Jeb.”

It is also reported that Jeb—who raised, along with Super Pac Right to Rise USA, over 150 million dollars for his primary campaign before losing to Donald Trump—happened to be walking down Locust at the same time as Vice President Joe Biden.

As Biden walked West, from Fisher Fine Arts to High Rise field, Jeb walked East. Gutmann, who was walking alongside Biden and his hundreds of devout followers, reportedly did not want to be seen looking in Jeb’s direction, lowering her sunglasses and putting in her earbuds as she passed him. Jeb jumped up and down and waved frantically, trying to gain Amy’s attention, but she did not grant him any.  

It has been a rough start to what will undoubtedly be a rough year for Jeb Bush. It certainly doesn’t help that Joe Biden is leeching attention from him and that this is his first time under the leadership of a woman.