Itchy Tag on New Shirt First Thing Junior Hates More Than Self

For decades, self-esteem of College junior Joelle Simmons has been low. While most in her demographic of white, upper middle class, Ivy League women have mid-level self-esteem, often referring to themselves as “fine” or “a little bloated,” Simmons’ self-esteem was far lower. One close friend noted that Simmons’ self-esteem was so low, her automatic email sign off was simply, “I’m sorry.”

That all changed yesterday, when Simmons found she hated the tag on her new H&M shirt even more than herself.

Simmons, a self-described “garbage bag,” bought the new black halter top to go with her grey plaid slacks she got from Brandy in June. Her hopes for the top were high, assuming she could also wear it with her high-waisted shorts, if she wanted. After wearing the top for a full day, she was horrified by how itchy the almost microscopic tag on the side of her boob became. 

“I actually don’t understand why it has to be like this,” she said outside of Mark’s Café—both horrified by the persistent scratch and also elated by her ability to be critical of something other than herself. “For so many years, I thought I was super annoying, but like, there’s no comparison. Nothing is more annoying than this tag.”