Freshman Confuses Fall Break as Another Jewish Holiday, Still Goes to Class

First Rosh Hashanah, then Yom Kippur, and now Fall Break. Ah yes, the three big Jewish holidays of the fall. Well that’s at least what freshman Melody Mitchel thought when she showed up to an empty psych classroom last Thursday. 

“At first, I didn’t notice anything different about the class attendance since the lectures are recorded,” Mitchel shares. “But then, after 20 minutes of taking BuzzFeed quizzes, I looked up and saw that the professor wasn’t there either.”

Mitchel also reports she was looking forward to a less crowded Hillel lunch, but, to her dismay, the dining hall was closed for the break. In fact, so was every other dining hall on campus. 

Oh, you stupid, fool, idiot Melody. Everyone knows the Jewish holiday calendar – well, at least, everyone at Penn does.