Sophomore’s Plan to Use Last Day of Fall Break to Catch Up on Three Weeks of Reading Backfires

College sophomore Martin Stone had the perfect plan for Fall Break. A two-step plan, he was going to spend weeks beforehand procrastinating on his readings because he’d “have time to finish everything over Fall Break,” and then he was going to further procrastinate on all his readings until the Sunday of break.

“I could tell people were impressed when I told them I was going to spend all of Fall Break catching up on work,” Stone told UTB. “In fact, they were so impressed that I thought, ‘hey, take it easy on yourself, buddy. Sunday is definitely enough time to finish reading fifteen academic papers, an entire book on WWII, and some other stuff that I need to check out on Canvas.’”

Stone confessed in a follow-up interview that he may have displayed a little hubris in his scheduling of an entire semester of work. “It seemed like fate just didn’t want me to finish those assignments,” said Stone. “I drank too much on Saturday so I slept in super late Sunday, and then I had to talk to all my roommates about what they did over break, and we’ve just really gotten a lot of work already.”

Stone reported finishing reading two papers and the first chapter of his history book, but if he works double time for a couple weeks, he should be caught up before his next round of midterms. 

After considering the logistics, he confessed, “Realistically, I’m never doing these readings,” and left to go get drunk and play Settlers of Catan on a Monday night.