BREAKING: Junior Marks ‘Maybe’ on Facebook Event, Attends

After two years of ghosting all of his friends and acquaintances, College junior Sean Barnett has finally attended an event he marked as “maybe” on Facebook. 

The event that he finally mustered up the willpower to attend was a GBM for the Executive Board Club, where everybody can be in the executive board.

“Everybody knows that if you just say that you'll 'maybe' go to an event on Facebook, it’s essentially the same thing as telling somebody that you guys should ‘totally get lunch sometime!’” Barnett stated in an interview. “But it kinda hit me that I have to beef up my resume. I mean, I still put down my high school National Honors Society and my ‘4’ on the AP Chem test."

Many Penn students have expressed their discontent with the practice of marking “maybe” in events that they know they won’t attend. One student reported feeling “so rude every time I [the student] say I’m maybe going to something, but everybody knows I’m really not, because I marked 'maybe' in literally 200 other events that’re all going on at the same time.” The student, who wished to remain anonymous, said that she “will just started marking ‘going’ on every Facebook event because it’s much more polite.”