SHS to Begin Offering Vaccine for 'Freshman Plague'

Inspired by the recent record turnout for free flu shots, Student Health Services has begun offering vaccines for those who have come down with the “Freshman Plague.”

Symptoms of the Freshman Plague typically include coughing, sore throat, and having an overly optimistic view of the future. The Freshman Plague is most often transmitted due to a lack of hand-washing, moldy quad dorm rooms, or germ infested quad PennCard scanners, but students are made more vulnerable by a lack of sleep or exercise and by standing within 50 feet of the quad. 

Those affected by the freshman plague typically only show symptoms for a week or two, yet some strains can last longer. College junior Molly Smilt has reported extended symptoms, stating how she's "just felt kind of sick every day since like winter of freshman year.”