Students Adopt Man Named Doug When Landlord Says They Can't Have Cat

When infamous slumlord Cam Partments told College junior Greg Giacomo and his roommates that they couldn’t adopt a cat, they were devastated. Tired of playing second fiddle to his more clever roommate Jack Galanski, Greg quickly got to work hatching up a plan to thwart Cam Partment’s draconian rules. By sundown, his plan was ready to go.

Greg told his roommates of his plan to hire some dude named Doug to come be their cat on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. While at first, Jack and the boys were a little skeptical of Greg trying to play first fiddle and make a plan, they eventually realized Greg was onto something.

“Honestly, I was pretty into the idea from the start, but I mean, we’re not going to find a guy willing to pretend he’s a cat,” Galanski told UTB.

Within minutes of scanning Craigslist, the boys had already found eight Dougs willing to take the job for just $10/hour. After extensive interviews with three (five had criminal backgrounds that made them unsuitable for this type of work), they settled on their Doug.

“It was a tough choice in the end; they were all so cute, but we had to go with Doug #2,” said Giacomo. “Our lives have changed ever since we adopted Doug. He loves having his belly scratched and watching TV with us. Every time there’s a guy named Doug on screen, we pet his hair and go ‘aww look it’s another Doug, just like you,’ and plus our mice problem is completely solved.”

While Doug’s decision to be adopted part-time may seem odd to some, he believes what he does is no different than Uber drivers or AirBnBers. “I’m an accountant by day, but in this economy, it’s tough to make ends meet. I have a natural skill at lounging around, acting like a cat. So what? I do snakes too; that’s my specialty,” Doug said with a hiss.

So at 9 a.m., Doug the cat became Doug DeMarco and went on his merry way to his accounting job to account for things, or like whatever accountants do.