Advanced Registration Fail: Freshman Still Trying to Find Course Codes for Lunch and Recess

Advanced registration for Spring courses ends Sunday, but for Engineering freshman Jasper Tisdale, the two weeks allotted for this task still won't be enough. 

That's because Tisdale is currently trying to carve time out in his schedule for Lunch and Recess, like a simpleminded, overgrown middle-schooler.

"I was thinking I'd take three academic classes, and then one course unit each of Lunch and Recess," Tisdale explained, moronically, to UTB. "I just want to give myself time to grab a bite to eat and then squeeze in a tight 30 minutes of outdoor exercise every day."

With only one semester under his belt and no pre-major advisor in sight, Tisdale has not yet gotten it through his thick, underdeveloped skull that the days of "lunch" and "recess" as separate, sacred entities intended to break up the bleak monotony of the weekday are long behind him.

So, being the oblivious little first-year buffoon that he is, Tisdale has spent the past three nights in a row searching Penn InTouch for course codes that will ensure his schedule allows enough time for these two blocks. 

Unsurprisingly, this has proven difficult for him. "I keep trying LUNC or LNCH and RECS, but nothing is coming up," lamented the dull-witted student. "Maybe the server is down again."

At press time, Tisdale was seen wandering campus and asking passersby where he might find "the blacktop."