Study: 85% of All Club Board Meetings Spent Continuously Restructuring Club

A new study from Penn’s Office of Student Life has found that on average, 85% of all club board meetings at the University are spent continuously restructuring the club, with 10% of meetings used to try and fulfill the club’s reason for existing and the last 5% saved for small talk.

The study accounted for the entire spectrum of clubs at Penn: from consulting groups, to service groups, to very funny satire publications, to less funny satire publications. Across the board, the study found similar results.

“These kids really seem to get off on reflecting on the internal efficiency of their clubs,” noted research team leader Dr. Anita Prakash.

“Ironically, we found that over the course of the study, the biggest barrier to club efficiency was the incessant need to discuss the internal efficiency of the club, and then try and restructure the entire organization to fix minor inconveniences. And never once in discussion on the subject did anyone seem to notice the irony. This was not the type of intellectual astuteness we expected from Ivy league students,” remarked Prakash. “This was, however, the level of self-importance we expected.”