Evacuate the Dance Floor: I Want to Listen to '20 Something' by Sza Alone in the Middle of This Frat Party

Hey all, 

I hope you are having a good time tonight. Thanks especially to the brothers of Gamma Rho Kappa Kappa Upsilon Phi Beta Beta Beta for putting on this shindig—it’s been a blast. 

Now, I have one small request. Would you all mind leaving so that I can listen to “20 Something” by SZA in the middle of this decrepit frat house? 

It’s an emotional ballad from her 2017 album “Ctrl,” and it’s best listened to alone amongst the remnants of what could have been but never was. Could someone please pass me the AUX? 

No? I don’t think you understand. You see, this is a song about the growing pains of your 20’s—the loss of friends, the lack of direction, the inability to get into Smoke’s even after you turn 21—and it demands solitude. I need to give SZA the respect she deserves, right here, right now. 

I empathize with your desire to let loose on a Friday night, and I promise I will not stand in the way. After the next three minutes and 18 seconds of me standing alone on this dance floor, thinking of all the ways I have wronged or been wronged, all the uncertainties I face in the coming years, all the words left unsaid, plans left unmade— 

Still no? Okay, whatever, just play 'Mo Bamba' again.