OP-ED: I'm Out East This Weekend, I'll Circle Back With You on Monday

*The following is a leaked, unsolicited email from a prominent campus group's listserv*

Hey guys,

Just wanted to shoot you all a quick heads-up in case you need to get a hold of me. I'll be OOO early this afternoon until Monday, so I wont be reachable by email. I know we have that board thing downtown this weekend but I honestly need to take this weekend off from the grind. Let's table all relevant discussions for now and I promise we can pick up where we left off next week.

Unfortunately, the car's in the shop so I'll be taking the Jitney off the Amtrak later today. If you see me in the ClubAcela lounge, feel free to say hi, but again, please don't email me until Monday. 

In the case of an emergency board function, you can reach me via my cell, but you know how reception can be Out East. If you really can't reach me, please @ me in the Slack as a last resort. Again, I cannot stress enough how unreachable I will be as a result of my being Out East this weekend.

I know that this may be kind of inconvenient for some of you, but I promise I'll circle back with you on Monday. Let's put a pin in whatever we're working on until I get back. Just don't email me, please.

Best,

[REDACTED]