BREAKING: Girls Wearing Matching White Adidas Want You to Go to Their Sorority's Philanthropy Event

College sophomore Peggy Rickleson was recently seen on Locust Walk selling tickets to her sorority’s philanthropy event, during which handles of vodka will be sold to benefit world hunger. She was wearing Stan Smiths and would wave flyers in front of passersby, at times even forcing the slips of paper into victims’ mouths.

“I just think it’s really important to help others,” Rickleson said as she express-ordered a pack of four single-use water bottles from Amazon. “So yes, I guess you could say that if you don’t come to our event you’re going to Hell.”  

The event is projected to raise just over fifteen dollars, which will be split between three different international aid organizations, providing food and shelter for a single poverty-stricken family for two hours.  

Regina Pine (C '21), also affiliated with Rickleson's sorority, and also wearing Stan Smiths, was seen taking shots of Everclear at noon last Monday, blaring Zedd through a portable speaker and screaming at pedestrians on Locust.  

“Come support the babies for us!” Pine yelled one man. “Come to our event to save the rainforests!” she told another.  

Pine explained how important philanthropy is for her sorority. “My sisters and I choose to spend hundreds of dollars a semester on dues, which go directly to the sorority. Then once or twice a year we raise some money for a charity. Clearly, our hearts are in the right place.”