Wharton Sophomore Proudly Declares No Need to Go East of Steiny-D Ever Again

Wharton sophomore Augustin Latimer always wanted a small campus vibe. But Penn's US News Ranking was far too shiny for him to actually consider what he wanted in a college. Although the lights of Philadelphia were too bright for him, Latimer has adapted and carved out his own little campus: The 300-foot area between Steinberg-Dietrich and Jon M. Huntsman Hall. 

With the news that CAPS will now station a clinician in Huntsman, all of Latimer's needs are met. "You've heard of friends asking you to book you a GSR, but now my friends keep asking me to book them an appointment with the CAPS clinician. I usually just ignore their message until their time of need passes and respond saying how busy I was." 

Gone are the days of hiking to Fisher-Bennett for Writing Sem or to the Penn Museum for that Anthropology class he signed up for but then immediately dropped after realizing it was in the Penn Museum. “Now that I am exclusively taking finance classes, I will never have to leave the comfort of Steiny-D or Huntsman ever again,” he commented. "I eat breakfast at Joe's, lunch at Pret, and for dinner I find some club GBM that has Zesto's."

Thus far, Latimer has religiously committed to his new lifestyle. “Whenever I make plans to meet up on campus, if it is not in between Huntsman or Steiny-D, I find an excuse to cancel.”

When UTB asked to view Latimer’s step count on his phone, he immediately left the interview and mumbled something about how, “this thing can’t be accurate. I do way more than 700 steps a day.”