Smokes Hosts 21st Birthday Celebration for 3-Year Regular

Kaitlyn Hill (W ’19) had never felt better as she rolled into Smokes to celebrate her 21st birthday. No longer would she have to fret as the bouncers inspected her fake, which they would hold up to the light while they asked for the capital of Delaware.

Coincidentally, this was also Hill’s 50th time visiting the bar. She waved hello to the owner, someone she had become close with through her years at Penn. She confidently handed her ID to the bouncer, who after a quick glance asked, “Aren’t you from Delaware?”

“Nope,” Hill replied. She was invincible.

The bouncer shrugged and handed the ID back. After squeezing the four-foot balloons which spelled "21" through the narrow door frame, Hill approached the bar and asked for a drink.

“That’ll be nine-dollars,” the bartender said.

Hill was confused. Drinks cost money? She had never paid for her own before. It was finally her 21st birthday, though, and she wouldn’t let her bank account balance interfere with a good time.

The night progressed as planned, ending with Hill hunched over the toilet, sending multiple nine-dollar Vodka Red Bulls into the bowl. She vowed never to drink again, or at least until her 21st weekend celebration.