Students Beware: Field Botany Literally Just a Weed-Out Class

Ever since she was little, Rosalina Stewart (C ‘20) kept scrapbooks filled with flowers.

She visited botanical gardens regularly and even spent two whole weeks living on nothing but edible shrubs. Working hard in her studies, Stewart had her sights on becoming a world-class botanist.

But no amount of mental prepping or textbook skimming could have prepared her for the brutal first day of Biology 400.

“They had us uprooting orchids, roses, tulips, carnations — all in the sweltering hot sun,” Stewart murmured. “The rumors were true. This really is a weed-out class.”

By the second class, over half of the students had dropped.

“My hands hurt!” one student complained.

“Enough weeding already!” another interjected before throwing down his trovel and storming back to campus.

“Even though I was extremely unprepared for the rigor of this course, I just knew I had to power through,” Stewart muttered, plant stems in hand. “Of course… anything for you, my pretties.”

Last Tuesday, Stewart was seen purchasing succulents, a telltale signal that the class has driven her completely insane.

So don’t get weeded out this semester. Take a leisurely, reasonable course like CIS 160 instead.