Deluded Sophomore Wears Cute Underwear to Formal as if Date Will Actually Fucking Notice

College sophomore Claire Sturges already knows what she will wear to her casual hookup's fraternity formal tonight: her trusty Little Black Dress and a pair of sleek nude heels. She will also, naively, wear her nicest pair of panties and matching bra as a little surprise for her date — as if he'll actually fucking notice when they bone later in the evening.

"They're so cute. The bottoms are sheer black lace with pink trim, and the bralette has this gorgeous embroidery detail," she enthused, completely disregarding that all her past experience suggests the set will be clumsily removed by her inattentive date, in a darkened room no less. "It's gonna be crazy sexy."

Although she has owned the lingerie set for several years and worn it to a number of events with both male and female romantic interests, it is doubtful that a single one of Sturges' partners has actually ever taken note of the slinky, seductive undergarments before awkwardly tearing them off her body. 

When asked how she expects her date to react to her choice of lingerie, Sturges thought for a moment and responded soberly, "I guess it doesn't really matter anyway, right? Sure, the panties give me a major front-wedgie, and sure the underwire chafes on my ribcage," she continued, "but at the end of the day, I'm really wearing this for me."