OP-ED: Why Does No One Laugh At My Super-Relatable Jokes About My Tiny and Obscure Major?

Guys, what’s the deal with the bathroom in Hayden Hall? I say bathroom because, in this three-story building, there is only one. It has two stalls, but the stall on the left is almost always clogged. I bet it’s not even clogged and just looks like it’s out of commission because all these Earth Science and Geology majors don’t want to waste water by flushing. You guys feel me, right? This is fun and relatable for everyone to read?

Let’s talk about how you can’t sit in the lobby without hearing at least one conversation about the finer details of recycling. It’s tougher than you might think, honestly. Beer bottles, yeah; caps, hell nah. You’ve got to separate those metals out. And what about the time I waste everyday hovering in front of the trashcan and wondering if my coffee cup is too dirty to be recycled? It is, by the way. It is always too dirty to be recycled, but if you take off the lid and lick it clean, you can recycle that. Also, you can pull the sleeve off the coffee cup; this, too, is recyclable.

But you guys already know that, because we all do it, right? I, personally, would like to overhear more conversations on if I can compost everything in my ashtray or if it only works if you buy RAW organic hemp papers. These are the real questions that plague all of us here on campus everyday.