Touching! Cryptic, Oddly Threatening Flyer Posted on Locust Brightens Freshman's Day

On the long trek back from Leidy Labs to Hill, a strange flyer just happened to catch Virginia Hinton’s (C ‘22) eye. “Seeing it really brought a smile to my face,” Hinton said. “I don’t know who put up these posters, but they definitely did a good job making them cryptic yet heartwarming.”

Last week, some unknown, holier-than-thou student adorned Locust with plain white posters emblazoned with black text. Most likely aimed at improving student morale, the poster campaign has been widely successful in tickling the fancy of students across campus. For Hinton, seeing “IN THREE WEEKS YOU WILL SEE YOUR FAMILY.” in a sterile, oppressive sans-serif font brought her immense joy.

“The bold lettering and violent insistence that I will see my family over break gave me something to smile about,” Hinton mused, warmly thinking about the long flight home.

New posters have cropped up since the initial one, but lately the messages have switched from being oddly threatening to just flat out aggressive.

Two days ago, students saw “WE HAVE YOUR FAMILY AND THEY ARE SAFE.” appear during their daily commutes. Yesterday, a perturbing “TRANSFER 50 BITCOIN TO THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS AND YOUR FAMILY WILL BE FINE.” reared its ugly head.

While the University has shown concern at the increasing hostility of the posters’ messages, they are ultimately powerless to stop them.

“We would get rid of the posters, but the student body just loves them so, so much!” Amy Gutmann professed with wide eyes as a shady figure loomed behind her, watching her every move. “Now if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, I have a bitcoin transaction to make.”