In Trump's First Effort to Reduce Climate Change, Nation's Supply of Windmills to Be Relocated to High Rise Wind Tunnel

Since Donald Trump (W ’68) assumed the presidency, environmentalists have been concerned about how his policies would affect the environment due to his cavalier attitude toward restrictions on businesses and his claim that climate change is a Chinese hoax.

A recent announcement may finally quell some worries: Trump has ordered that the nation's supply of windmills be relocated to the high-rise wind tunnel. That’s right, within the next two years, the 60,000 windmills currently spread across the United States will be jammed into the 300-yard stretch of Locust Walk between the high rises. This bold move has been applauded by scientists and activists alike, as data has shown that the area experiences more wind than any other site in the nation. 

If the EPA’s projections are correct, this energy reform will allow wind power to be the leading source of energy for the United States. Amy Gutmann confirmed in a statement that increasing campus airflow was an intentional factor in the construction of the high rises, and that it was not in fact due to "really shitty architectural planning."