It's Cute That Your Hookup Acts like His Name Is on the Lease, but God Help Him if He Eats My Wheat Thins Again

Aw, it's adorable that we have a third person sharing our living space. I love waking up and not being able to use the bathroom because you guys are having shower sex. May I add that the extra dirty dishes you still expect me to clean are just delightful.

I just have one issue with this whole situation — I'm out of Wheat Thins. It's actually really funny, because I know I didn't eat them, so it's just like, where did they go? 

Just kidding. I know where they went: all over the table and floor after you guys came home from that downtown. Apparently, Mark just needed to eat something if I heard that conversation through our paper thin walls correctly.

It's fine though, I'll just keep my snacks in my room from now on.