Amy Gutmann Finally Denounces Logan and Jake Paul

After years of widespread calls for a public statement, it's about time we got one.

Though she usually keeps a low profile on such issues, Amy Gutmann has finally weighed in decisively on Logan and Jake Paul, the controversial Viners-turned-YouTubers. As many had hoped, President Gutmann was forceful in her condemnation of the brothers. 

"In this time more than ever we must come together, must support one another, must work towards a brighter future," Gutmann declared from the steps of College Hall on Friday afternoon. "The Paul brothers represent everything that our University stands against. On behalf of the Penn community, I vehemently condemn their actions over the last two years, and implore you to unsubscribe and down-vote their videos."

While Gutmann's statement was brief, she did touch on a few of the brothers' most appalling moments. "Filming a dead body with the disrespect Logan displayed is never acceptable, especially when wearing such a dumb-ass hat," she said. "Jake's song 'It's Everyday Bro' may qualify as a crime against humanity, according to Penn Law, and it certainly violates standards of decency and expected behavior." 

"It's good that Team 10 is finished," Gutmann said, pausing for effect. "But we must do more. We must be vigilant. We must report all their videos and social media posts. Quakers are doers, thinkers, dreamers, and innovators. We don't break plates, we build better ones. We care about our neighbors. We aren't Jake Paulers, and we certainly aren't in #Logang. That isn't who we are."

It is unclear whether Gutmann will speak publicly on U.S. President Donald Trump, a Penn grad. Her spokesman assured Under the Button that she would release a statement shortly on the ongoing international cyber-warfare between T-Series and Pewdiepie.