Junior’s Break Spent Sliding Down Rabbit Hole of “My 600 Pound Life” Testimonials

Reports confirmed Friday morning that, although College junior Kaitlin Murphy told friends she spent break “hanging out with [her] cousins,” the majority of her time was spent sliding down a rabbit hole of “My 600 Pound Life” testimonials on YouTube. 

While friends spent time with family on holiday in Aspen and the Bahamas, Murphy found herself indoors in suburban upstate New York trying to understand the part of herself that wanted to watch clips from the haphazard TLC docuseries.  

The series chronicles the lives of 600+ pound individuals so obese they are forced to live a life in bed, only standing up long enough to microwave hot pockets — the life Murphy was independently choosing to lead over break despite access to her mom’s mini-van. 

“Before I knew it, it was 3am on the last day of break, and I was waiting with bated breath to see if Jerry would get approved for skin removal surgery,” said Murphy, back on campus. “I know so much about lap-band surgery now and nothing about my classes this semester”