Cold Makes Student Question Resolution to Go to Pottruck 5 Times a Week as Well as All Other Resolutions

The beginning of January is one of the three times in the year (besides the first week of school and the last week before spring break) when the regular patrons of Pottruck are forced to wait for their turn to use the machines until after the New Year Resolution (NYR) crowd has finished up. Fortunately for regular gym goers, no one in the illustrious history of Pottruck has ever kept up a resolution for more than a month.

“I just think it’s really unfair that the new year conflicts with the coldest season of the year,” said College freshman Lisa Scaramucci. “I have so much resolve to better myself, but also there’s no shot that I go outside for non-essential purposes for at least two months. I have no idea what’s going on with climate change, but I think it’s a safe response to just stay inside until it’s over.”

Scaramucci is pushing for the week before Penn’s spring break to be universally recognized as the real start time for new years resolutions. “I definitely intend to work out five times a week, cook all my own meals, stop using plastic bags, recycle more, do my homework before the night it’s due, get a summer job, transfer to Wharton, and become a doctor come March. But not yet. Eventually, though.”