Gutmann and Penn Reach Temporary Agreement on Shutdown Over Border Wall

The stalemate between Amy Gutmann and the University of Pennsylvania has reached a temporary halt to end the University shutdown, which had been in its fourth week. Still, the question of the border wall is up in the air.

Gutmann’s controversial budget proposal for the 2019-2020 academic year included a provision concerning a border wall around Penn’s Campus to keep any possible non-Penn residents away from the campus indefinitely. The wall proposal also includes a plan for new border personnel in the form of fraternity brothers guarding the gates, asking “who do you know here?” and determining admittance based on the social capital present in the answer. 

The Penn Administration, in a vote of 23-13, voted against the bill, leaving the University in a state of crisis, with thousands of employees unpaid, hoping for the eventual relief promised by an uncertain paycheck.

Penn has limited budget cuts mainly to non-academic departments, but one department that has been furloughed by the University throughout this crisis is Penn Engineering, which, despite having cut classes by 50%, has experienced no difference in the actual level of attendance, which hovers around 5.1%. 

Citing lack of progress, Gutmann had held talks with the Provost about the possibility for declaring a State of Serious Snow Emergency (colloquially know as “snow days”) until the administration is willing to provide the 2.3B required for her Wall. 

It appears that Gutmann decided to compromise, with Penn agreeing to post images of DRL around the edges of campus, which should keep anyone with any sense far, far away. Further details should be released later today in a statement from Gutmann over the emergency broadcast system.