Feminism Sent Back 50 Years After Announcement of Friday’s Mixer Theme

A report from Penn’s gender studies department confirmed Thursday morning that feminism was sent back 50 years after Friday’s mixer theme announcement. 

Many found the theme, announced Wednesday night, of “Moms that bake, Daddy’s that bring home the bacon” to be both a loss for the female gender and also incredibly pre-professional. 

“I thought I put enough gifs on the event invite to make it quirky instead of sexist, but right after I smashed that send button, all of the power in my house went out and the ghost of Susan B. Anthony showed up screaming about how she died in vain,” said the sorority’s social chair. “Why is nobody interviewing me about the ghost sighting?”

The social chair, who preferred to stay anonymous during this interview, continued on to say how quickly she was contacted by the Gender Studies Department to be alerted of the formal set-back for the political movement.

“All the sudden everyone in my office just felt the room shake. We didn’t know what had happened at first, but we already could tell all of the gains of Feminism since the 70s had been lost,” said department chair Angelina Kim. “I wish I could do something to reverse this, but those are the rules — you break it you buy it. They broke feminism last night, so the only option is to start over again. Now we have to build it back up from the bottom, starting with floor, ‘women should only be teachers.’”