As a FNAR Major, I Take My Dick Pics In Portrait Mode

FNAR. That’s fine arts major for all you uncultured plebs, and you better believe what I’m packing is fine. I’ve always had an artistic eye. I can take the mundane and make it beautiful, draw meaning out of seemingly nothing, create a sense of awe whenever I want – and that’s exactly what I’m doing when I take pictures of my dick. 

While all of you schmucks are probably carelessly snapping photos of your junk (emphasis on the junk), I’m making art. With the portrait mode feature on my iPhone, I am bringing class back to dick pics. What do you know about class? I bet the only time you see art is when you're trying to see some tits.  

I always make sure to follow a few key strategies: organize the frame using shadows to your advantage, align the shot with the geometric spiral, keep in mind the rule of thirds, and never show your balls. No one wants to see your balls.