Frat Boy Ghosts Frat Dog, Felt "Man's Best Friend" was a Little Too Clingy

Red rover red rover, won’t you — never come over…? That’s the signal Lance Riddick (C ‘20) has decided to send to widely beloved frat dog Bear over the weekend. 

In a statement, Riddick announced his choice to completely block out God’s only true and precious gift to Earth, claiming that ‘man’s best friend’ had gotten just "a little too clingy" recently. 

Riddick and Bear were first spotted out and about last spring, with many speculating that Bear was just a replacement for the pooch that Riddick had left at home. However, as Bear grew, so too did expectations that the duo would be a new power couple, one to possibly rival that of frat legend Don ‘The Brick’ Meehan (W '06) and companion Hunter. 

Yet almost as quickly as their star rose, it fell. With the loss of Highrise Field, Riddick and Bear’s split seemed almost foretold. 

Asked if he would come to regret the decision, Riddick remained adamant about his choice: “I mean, sure, I’m upset about cutting things off. However, I am confident that I will find someone, canine or not, to continue to lick peanut butter off of my balls.”